Friday, April 3, 2009

The Biggest Loser

My daughter, Jill, was gracious enough to present me my 9th grandchild in January. Since then, she has been working on losing weight. She has been good to limit the intake of calories and increase her exercise regimen. In the past 3 weeks she has lost 6 pounds and is looking good.

I am doing quite the opposite. I have found those 6 pounds she lost and am giving them a good home. Every day when I have to suck in my stomach to button my pants, or try to hide the bulges under my Shade shirts, I say to myself, "YOU HAVE GOT TO LOSE WEIGHT!"

I've seen ads for this expensive miracle drink, Green Tea HP. It is supposed to help you lose weight and give you more energy, and promote heart health, and prevent cancer, and turn your hair brown, and improve your volleyball game and...the list goes on and on. I've been reading up on the benefits of green tea, so imagine my excitement when at the mall I saw the little green kiosk that houses this amazing diet supplement. I stopped and looked interested. The cute little gal who was working there approached me and asked if I wanted a free sample and if I was interested in the weight loss or the health benefits.

I told her the weight loss, then quickly perused the list of health benefits and announced I was interested in those too. She brought out a cold bottle of water. had me drink some, added the powdery substance to the water, shook it and handed it back to me. I took a few gulps, thanked her, and could feel myself getting slimmer. Walking away, I remembered that deep, down in my purse were two gift certificates for a pound box of See's Candy! I knew that if I got one, I would be eating most of it, so I decided to use both certificates and get it over with! After all, I was drinking a bottle of Green Tea HP!

I got them both, didn't have to pay a dime, felt marvelous, then quickly left the mall. I had to get home to order pizza! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!


Joanie said...

Wow, you are getting a head start on all the Easter candy next week. Your body will be used to all the chocolate. Now your new jeans will really stay up.

wendy said...

That is just stinking funny and soo true. I LOVE See's chocolates --chocolate and nut combo, nothing better. It was good to use those gift certificates before you FORGOT about them, eat them and get it over with (what kinda pizza did you get??)

Connie said...

I'm sure the pizza I got was a Papa Murphy's deLite and a meat lovers with extra cheese! :-)

The next time you see me in my new jeans they're going to be skin tight!

Jill Kaufusi said...

my cake balls are fat free.

Ann Marie said...

Hi Connie!
Thanks for visiting my blog!!

I love Sees candy.. The smell of the store is undescribable.. MMM.

How sad that I knew what it was before I even read your post!!
I even have to Hand-pick my own because I have such favorites!!

I need to lose weight!!
Happy Weekend!!

Camille said...

And it didn't help that we chowed down on italian food tonight AND a scrumption 400-calorie cupcake! :) I think if we just borrow Jill's Belly bandit, that outta do the trick!

Kinglear said...

I haven't used my gift certificate for See's yet.

My question is, did you walk past the green tea lady on your way out to your car, or did you head straight to the parking lot and walk outside around the mall until you found your car?

Kazzy said...

Sorry, L hadn't signed out. It's MY gift certificate, MINE!